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The Art Of Saying NO: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted (Without Feeling Guilty!), by Damon Zahariades
Ebook Free The Art Of Saying NO: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted (Without Feeling Guilty!), by Damon Zahariades
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Product details
Paperback: 170 pages
Publisher: Independently published (August 23, 2017)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1549572741
ISBN-13: 978-1549572746
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.4 x 8.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.4 out of 5 stars
128 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#9,514 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I gave this book 2 stars because I feel as though to maybe a small percentage of people this book would prove useful. I purchased this title with the expectation of discovering some in depth strategies for regaining confidence through the use of the word "no," as the title suggests. I was hoping to find some techniques for building confidence, becoming emotionally aware, reading personality traits, managing ego's, or any general psychological cognition. However, the book reads almost like an infomercial ("in the next section you will learn new ways of saying 'no'...so please grab a refreshing beverage and enjoy") with very, very superficial discussions of the vapid subject material. If you're a normal person with any level of self-confidence whatsoever, I can almost guarantee you won't take away anything new from this book. On the other hand, if you're a beta-male type person, and often find yourself cowering in fear from any sort of conflict, then yes, you may want to consider this book. On a closing note, judging by how this book was hastily written with little or no research actually done on the subject matter, I would also recommend avoiding other titles by this author as well.
I'm rating this a 4 because I think the intended audience for this book could find it useful. I already LOVE saying no! The problem is the violent aggression I receive from the person who received that no. This book isn't hard hitting enough to address that. It's primarily focused on people requesting your time and energy to do something, usually when nothing is really on the line. "Hey bud, can you help me move my couch?" "Hey I need a ride to the airport, can you give me a ride?" If you struggle with replying "no, I have to do my taxes" or "no, I'm actually bleeding to death and need to go seek immediate medical advice," in order to please people, you will love this book. I'm more in the category of "I think we should use this totally wrong tool for open heart surgery and experiment, and if you say no, I'm escalating to management who has this same desire to always say yes and I'm tell them that you have a fixed mindset in hopes they end your career." If you are like me, this book will do you no good. This is a book about saying soft no's to soft inquiries, when nothing is on the line. I realized this when I took the "Pop Quiz: Are you a people pleaser" and got the lowest possible score (15 / 75), which quite literally means this book is inapplicable to me.So, lets say you are like me and bought this book! Chances are you can read it like I did in an hour and a half. It's a light, casual read that will force you to empathize with others who do have this affliction. In essence, you can still get something out of it by understanding how this advice could help those around you.So, why am I taking a star off? This isn't really "the art" of saying no. Artistry is something that requires mastery. Here I am, well on my path as a journeyman of being a no man, looking for a master to follow to further learn the art. I need a 400 level course, not a 99. Basically, I think the title is misleading. I would equate it to naming an entry level algebra class to "the art of doing barely basic math, just good enough." It just doesn't cut it.I bought this book to follow up on soft no's from a book called Never Split the Difference which is about tactics from an FBI (ya one of those click-bait style books) hostage negotiation. He suggests rarely using No directly, but responding with targeting questions that start with "what" or "how" that will leave it up to the other side to reason a logical no.
This is the easiest book I've ever read.It's definitely helpful, the most important thing is to change the way you think about everything.Instead of feeling guilt over not helping someone, change your entire viewpoint on how valuable your own time is and what you want to do.Don't yield to others, yield to yourself 1st and then lthers opinions come after.Overall the book is easy to read, quick, and it helps.It's not gonna change your mindset, its not gonna make you assertive, but it will give you the examples and the tools to change your mindset
I don't have the hardest time saying no but this book did help me find ways to say no without using the word "no" and also how to decline people with grace. It really is more for people pleasers and people who have a really difficult time saying no, but it is also helpful for the average person
This book, after doing the quiz inside and also reading about 40 pages; has changed my life! I now say NO when I want to say NO without feeling guilty or wishy washy to my immediate family members for "hey can you come with your truck to move some stuff" or to my adult son wanting me to drive an hour to them to babysit so they can go to the gym or whatever when my schedule is already chuck full. Hey give up your plans for working for the day or whatever, so you can watch my child. NO is my new answer. If I want to do something I do, if not, I say NO !!! No apologies necessary; I was raised by a very strict father to whom you had better explain for a half an hour WHY you wanted to do something. No more explanations to folks for me; and no more apologies if you don't want to do something then say NO and offer up nothing else that the other person can throw in your face later. JUST SAY NO and move on. It's much easier than you could ever imagine! Buy this book! You will be so much happier!
I found myself to be in the middle of the road on saying no. Sometimes I have no problem, others, like described in the book, guilt pressures me into saying yes - until it's burdensome. Out of fear of snapping, I picked up this book and immediately started putting these practices into action. My biggest take away from this book has been that I can't control the reactions of others. I had never thought of it that way and that has helped me progress and say no much more decisively. I'm taking back control of my time!
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